Hello, how are you? What's going on? You have a great smile. Would you like to hang out? I find you attractive. I would never leave you. You are the only one I want to be with. You are the sexiest person in this room. You are so nice and sweet, let me tell you I am anything but nice ans sweet. what I am going to really tell you that you don to want to hear is. I am hurting inside, I need an escape and I do need to release myself. These words I have used many times to have a moment of weakness. To those I have said these words in my many moments of weakness I am very sorry, and I am sorry I took advantage of you.
Does true love exist? I don't know, I pray it does. How am I ever going to find true love if I keep taking advantage of the wrong men. It is a termultive cycle that I must break. How is Mr. 6'2 lean muscular body, blondish brown hair with ice blue eyes and the desire to be with me if I can not lay off the bad man crack.
It is funny that in my 34 years of breathing on this earth I have never lived. Oh I have been going with the daily motions of of live like the many other millions of people, but I have never lived. I have so many dreams that I have never went for. I have been to scared to attempt. I have failed in so many areas such as finance, career, and romance. Where I have been very successful in is having the ability to make friends. "To you who are in my life, thank you for being a friend. Sorry golden girls, theme song running in my head." I owe my ability to make friends to the fact I do have a warm and caring heart, I have to thank God for blessing me with my own special gift.
With what was said , how is my dream husband going to find me and fall in love with me if I am overweight. Yes I could diet and exercise to change my appearances, but how can I heal the battle scares. I have lost my own inner war, for the moment. God, the universe do you have the answers, because I sure don't. Anyone who reads this how did you get through it? I pray, I commune with myself, but I guess I am not a patient man. "As a kid, when my parents would give me money I would burn right through it so fast." I have learned from that in a way. I have been thinking of a few things I would like to happen in this current lifetime.
A. Have love finally find me
B. Live a long and full life
C. Travel to Europe
D. Become famous
E. To not worry and be willing to take chances.
Walt Whitman once said "(Dream) Forsake all inhibitions. Pursue thy dreams! Walt Whitman", and from the poem Invictus "Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." How can I be the master of my fate and how can I be the captain of my soul, when I am stuck in the middle of the ocean without and guide to give me the direction I am searching for. I have opened my soul for you to read this it is after five in the morning and had the feeling to right this. Thank you for reading
